We all have an unconscious cycle of self-protection that kicks in whenever we feel stressed or threatened. And until we see it, we're trapped by it. Most people don’t know what makes them feel secure, but they know what doesn’t. Knowing whether we are secure or insecure in our attachment style matters because it can either negatively or positively affect how we relate and connect to others.

People generally have one of two primary attachment styles: secure or insecure. The insecure category is further divided into three...